The Two Bit Hooker and other flies not for kids

In the last 3 issues of Fly Fisherman magazine, there has been an ongoing presentation letters addressing something that would seem simple enough to decide, but has somehow become a running debate; Todd Harper wrote in to the magazine’s Tight Lines (letters to the editor) section describing how uncomfortable it was for him to deal with the impression his 10 year old daughter got from the name of Charlie Craven's fly the “Two-Bit Hooker”. You’d think this would be a no-brainer, but the magazine has since printed letters in each successive issue from writers decrying, even ridiculing, the desire of Mr. Harper to dare filter what reaches his child. If only more felt this way!

 

Can you guess my point of view?

Let me say first that the name of that particular fly seems to have originated from the two beads used in its construction, however the young girl immediately thought prostitute as does almost anyone who hears it. I don't get the impression that Mr. Craven was dancing nasty when he named this one. The general topic however has been treated shabbily. Contrary to every response printed by Fly Fisherman, I am in complete agreement with Todd Harper; there’s a growing frat-boy humor in the naming of flies that belongs locked in the fraternity where the other not-quite-yet men can guffaw over their toilet humor and sexual innuendo. Truly, while I certainly don’t know anything about the personality or habits of Mr. Kelley Galloup or claim to, I can’t help but wonder what kind of freaky night life he enjoys since he likes to name so many of his flies with sexually oriented appellations. Perhaps he's just a guy looking to spark attention, I can't say. He isn’t the only one, but it’s his flies which prominently grace the pages and covers of Fly Fisherman and other fly fishing magazines, so by default he becomes the flag bearer of the movement. 

How disappointing to see so many letters haranguing Todd Harper for daring care what influences his child! I wonder if there have been any letters to the magazine in his support. That is, aside from the one I sent which didn’t reach the light of day. Fly fishermen have always had the reputation of being the upper crust, the highfalutin’ of society from whom bait and lure fishermen could only humbly recede a number of yards as they cast their lines across the waters. That reputation is crumbling quickly under the weight of men looking either for attention to sell their wares, or truly uncaring about the people around them. That is the trend of society (“I want what I want; if you don’t want what I want, too bad, I win”), and I wonder if Fly Fisherman is going that way (Galloup is a big name; are they keeping him from dissention?) or if there truly haven’t been any letters to them espousing a view which cares about the next generation, and themselves don’t wallow in the verbal mire.

I’m a Christian, and there are a number of flies I won’t even name because their names are crude and simply a juvenile cry for attention. I know fishers who aren’t Christians but still find difficulty in naming these flies much less touting their worth. You cannot find any logical reason to name a fly “Sex Dungeon” other than to get attention. It is my hope that Mr. Galloup, Fly Fisherman, and others of the same mindset will remember that there are people who appreciate their work, but won’t play that game. 

I stopped getting Fly Rod and Reel because of their uncensored articles because I don’t want to read all the foul language when I simply want a story on travel, tying or fishing. I won’t buy or tie flies that have crude names because I don’t want to turn to someone who asks what fly I’m using and end up in either a Beavis and Buttheadesque conversation, or with the embarrassment of trying to explain the name. Searching the web and looking at fly fishing blogs, it appears that most of those who are writing on the topic just don't care because they reckon their kids are already exposed to this stuff on tv, but that only highlights the fact that if someone had kept the standards high for tv, they wouldn't have seen or heard it there.

At the bottom of the list of possibilities, I can’t imagine explaining to a group of young people that I’ve taken to the lake how the fly I’m using is called the Sex Dungeon. It’s just not a situation I’m going to create.

Murphy's Laws of fishing

I was able to sneak away for a couple hours of fishing this weekend and was reminded that Murphy's Laws are still in full effect. Which laws did I review you ask?

1) When you find the fly/lure that the fish really want, you'll only have one and will soon lose it.

2) Rediscovered subsection one of that law, its Inverse Proportion: the longer it takes you to find said fly/lure, the SOONER you will lose it.

It took me about 3 hours to find the right fly that gave me consistent catches. When I did, I caught nice 'gills and perch and even a foot long Wiper in 6 consecutive casts. Then I snagged and lost it.

Meh.

Check out the "At Sea Diary"

We've watched them on television, now you can follow a fisherman at sea via his blog!

Be prepared and take a deep breath

(a partial excerpt from my upcoming book. Try not to laugh too much at the picture. I'm learning what media suits me best)

A friend of mine took me to the Western Pennsylvania town of Latrobe one beautiful morning during the summer of, I believe, 1989. Although better known as the home of golfing legend Arnold Palmer, Latrobe also plays home to a beautiful stream named the “Loyalhanna”. That day I had one of the best and worst fishing moments of my whole life, and received a life lesson which would later be reinforced by Scripture.

It took us just under an hour to get to this stream from Pittsburgh, and as we cruised down the road paralleling the stream my excitement caused me to emphatically push my friend to stop the car at a spot which was far upstream of the section to which he intended to introduce me. This area was just off the two lane road we were riding (another 2 lane borders the stream on the other side) and required a short climb down a hill. We were literally only yards off the road and less than a mile from a crowded business district yet the steep drop to the water and the thick lining of trees guarding this stretch of water made it feel like we were in some mountain miles away from anything.

As we took up our spots I looked across the water and recognized an area that looked quite promising as a spot where the best fish in the immediate run would hold, waiting for food to swim by its lair. My imagination betrayed me as I couldn’t even fix in my mind an image of the type of fish that would be tough enough to claim such an ideal spot in such a marvelous section of stream. I quickly baited my hook (I had to move quickly: this friend was a great fisherman and I could tell he had noted the spot also) and sought secure footing for what would literally be a cast all the way across the stream into a crease in some rocks the size of a pile of basketballs, 3 or four of them. Regarding the size of this stream, it would probably only be considered a stream in Western Pennsylvania and a few other North American areas because we have several large rivers. In many places the Loyalhanna would be considered a river itself especially with its Whitewater sections.

As I got my footing I reared back and with a grunt cast forward and slightly upstream as hard as I could, sending my live leech sailing on 4 pound line high into the air and rocketing right towards the spot! My heart was pounding even before the line settled because of what I expected to happen and the sheer delight of an accurate cast for a change! At this point my guess is that you’re thinking that I cast, nothing happened and I got a life lesson from complete disappointment.

WRONG!!

I noted the perfect holding spot, made a great cast, and when my live leech traveled across the stream despite my awkward stance in the rocks, landing less than 2 feet from the rocks, a huge shadow emerged from the rocks and headed directly toward it! This is the kind of moment fishermen live for and it was happening! To me!! In a moment all my training and practice had come together to initiate what was going to be the most exciting catch of my young life- and in an instant, this was when I blew it all. I was so excited that upon seeing that huge shadow after my bait that instead of waiting to feel the weight of the fish on my hook, I reared back on the rod when it seemed the fish was so close that there was no way it couldn’t have taken the hook. Well there was a way, because it hadn’t.

You don’t get two shots at a fish like that and I never saw it again. This was when I learned that preparation isn’t just leading up to the moment of execution. Preparation carries through the moment of execution and beyond.

Fishing in the rain

Fishing in the rain simply must be experienced to be appreciated. Standing in the middle of a tree lined valley stream while a light shower falls around you, distorting the surface of the water and hiding predator from prey, prey from predator... combined with the smell of ozone wafting across your olfactory receptors... not being able to feel the difference between having your hand out of the water or under the water because you're so wet...looking up once in a while just long enough to feel the drops of water that have traveled for thousands of feet from the clouds splash against your skin...is a really pleasant load to the senses.

High water, no problem

A lot of guys find that high water blows them right out of their game. Some won't even fish in high water. Listen, it's not like the fish can go check into the nearest Howard Johnson's for a vacation. They are there, it's your job to find them.

Check the current seams. You will find slack water and that's where the fish will stack in order to avoid swimming hard against the current all day. I remember fishing Neshannock Creek once years ago when the water was so high the dam in Volant was not noticeable. I'd driven a long way so I had to try something. You know that abutment on the side of the dam that people climb on? the water was that high, so I found a little eddy that had formed in it, tied on a heavy bead-head Pheasant tail nymph, and caught 3 fish in it!

Don't give up, just fish smarter. :)

The Serious Fisherman

Ken Abrames has done great things for salt water Striper fishing, things that obviously can be extrapolated to apply in various situations. In fact, one of his flies has become one of my go-to flies when I'm chasing our inland Hybrid Striped Bass.

I just read the current article on his site and here's a portion:

Serious fishermen seldom try to draw attention to themselves, as a rule they are clandestine and avoid large groups of spectators. They often come out only at night and cannot be identified by the bumper stickers on their vehicles or by the display of rods and reels attached to the front or top or back of their off road 4X4 super duper fishing trucks because they don't often own one. They mostly walk by themselves or with one or sometimes two other serious fishermen that they have known for twenty years or more. They are not actually stand-offish but they are truly going fishing when they appear on a beach and so they are not likely to join in a group of spectators who are there primarily for the companionship of staying out all night with brother 4X4 beach riders.

They seldom listen to the radio or watch television when they fish and are more prone to fish than to socialize. They never sit in lawn chairs and their equipment is often old-fashioned which now-a-days means two years old or more. When observing Human Being behavior on a beach it is easy to overlook their movements but for the careful observer the patterns of their behavior and the results they achieve while fishing can identify them as aberrations to the norm. Overlooking the obviousness of their fishing results and speculating about the next blitz will comfort those who prefer the companionship of the herd to the adventure of discovery.

Read the rest here. It's good! In addition to a description of the wily Serious Fisherman, Ken offers some tips to get you one step closer to being that guy.

How much is enough?

As I go through the winter doldrums,ice keeping me from doing the wading I hold so vital to enjoying my fishing, I pacify myself as you probably do: cleaning, stocking and rearranging my tackle.

I find the usual mess, hastily stowed gear as I switch on the water from one lure to another, plastic worms and grubs melted to the boxes they reside in, carefully sorted hooks all mixed together, rock-hard Powerbait still on the hook, flies in the pockets of my vest instead of in their box, old used band aids and so much more gunk that it makes me swear (like I do every winter) that this year will be the year I put everything back in it's place every single time.

(Ya-hunh. Right.)

I did manage this time to transfer all my bass spinnerbaits from hard boxes to soft packs, same thing with a lot of my plastics. This is to allow me to carry them in my vest which never seems to have enough pockets, yet gives me backache when I carry too much.

I moved my inline spinners (Roostertails mostly) to a new, vest-friendly box, refilled my terminal tackle supply boxes (sinkers, hooks and bobbers), filled a small box with small crankbaits designed to catch panfish, refilled my Case's Jack's Worm box (oh yeah, they get their own box!), relocated a ton of flies to different boxes to fit the vest I bought and to my dismay realized it had smaller pockets than the old vest and won't hold my Bugger box or bass fly box, and basically just had fun playing with everything.

After a few hours I came to that old familiar realization that for some reason has yet to propel me to solve it's presence: I have lures that are still in the box which I bought years ago! I have bird skins that I bought in my first couple of years of fly tying! In a nutshell:

I have way too much stuff that I don't use, seeing this every year has not pushed me to do anything about it, and that's just gotta change.

I know why it happens. That's no mystery. I have a selection of flies and lures that work very well for me and I start to fear branching out because I might not catch fish. That and the fact that I have particular methods I enjoy most. I like throwing particular lures and I like throwing particular flies. Still, a pile of unused stuff like this is just downright sinful and I've gotta do something about it.

Seems like there are two really obvious options: either start using it or get it into the hands of someone who will. I already do this with the flies I tie. I tie far more than I fly fish so pretty much every year I end up giving away a couple hundred flies just so that they don't go to waste. I could sell some of the lures I guess, but I really do like catching fish with different approaches at different times. There's a real thrill to the particular slam that comes only when a fish stops a Roostertail cold in the water. The violence of of a crankbait strike near the surface can take your breath away.

I've got plastics I haven't touched yet they are proven fish getters! I have no problem giving stuff away, especially since I ain't using it anyway. However, I think that with much of it I need to go ahead and put it to use to keep my all-around fishing skills from atrophy.

I'd hate to forget how to put together a decent Carolina Rig! (You remember those doncha?)